In a Day's Work
by Highclass
Summary: Carla may have started something between JD and Cox. Origianally, it was supposed to be a good thing. But it's normally bad things that happen to good people. JD/COX slash. Angsty, romance.
1. In a Day's Work

_**Sacred Heart was pretty normal as far as hospitals go. Large building, lots of windows, sliding doors. But, that's as pretty normal as the place got. Just the outside. A shameful façade was what it was. The insides of the building were much more interesting than the outsides. **_

"_**No, Anna. I will absolutely not have lunch with you." JD pouted. He hated it when Cox told him no. It made his stomach flip and tears well in his eyes almost every time. It seemed so effortless for the older man to break his heart. JD didn't understand. Cox brushed by him, another effortless effort for him, and left JD wallowing in misery at the nurse's station. Carla watched the snarky doctor breeze away and sighed. **_

_**Sometimes, she honestly believed that she had the best insight of anyone ever in the history of the world. Everyone was so very sure that the cute, bashful, young doctor was in love with Elliot Reid. It was a nice thought. They made an adorable couple, but things never lasted. Carla knew, deep in her bones, that JD was madly, completely, devastatingly in love with Dr. Percival Cox and it had been that way from the very beginning. But the nurse wasn't sure that even JD understood what he was feeling. **_

"_**Bambie," she murmured lowly, causing JD to turn and face her. She gave him the look**_**: hand on the hip, eyebrow raised, saying 'I need to tell you****something and you are so gonna listen to me.' JD whimpered internally. These little discussions would be the death of him one day. **

**Carla all-but dragged the reluctant doctor into the break room and shut the door. Luckily, the room was empty. It would be so much easier this way. "Is there any possible way for me to get out of this?" JD questioned, throwing himself down on the well-worn couch. Carla smiled and shook her head vehemently.**

"**Not on your life." She moved to the couch and gingerly lifted his legs up, sat down, and placed his legs in her lap. There was a moment of preparatory silence; JD for the unknown, and Carla for retaliation. "You ready?" she asked finally, her voice soft. JD took a deep breath and nodded. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"**

**JD sat up straight and eyed her, unbelieving of what she'd just asked. Carla said nothing and waited for him to reply, which was something new for her. Somehow, her instincts knew the delicality of the situation, and she wanted nothing less than for him to bolt. She knew JD's soft state, and knew how strong his will was to have not broken after all he'd put up with over the years. **

"**W-w-what?" he stuttered softly. Carla patted his knee gently. **

"**It's okay," she said. JD's lips pressed into a thin line momentarily as he organized his thoughts. **

"**I don't know," he admitted. "I don't know what it is."**

**Carla almost sighed from relief. "I think I know."**

*******

**Dr. Cox opened the car door, anticipating the peaceful ride until he reached home, and along with it, his swamp moose of a wife, Jordan. He relished the thought of the silence within the car, not being able to wait for the chance to think, to take a break from his hectic life. He was just about to get into the vehicle when he felt a sharp tug on his shoulder. He spun, ready and willing to hand out some sharp words to the person that was interrupting his only moment of tranquility in his day. He was met with JD's large, doe eyes and his emotions immediately quelled. "What do you want?" he asked, exasperated. **

**JD smiled slightly, and took a step forward and pressed his lips firmly against Cox's. The older man went stiff, for only a moment. Suddenly, the ride didn't matter. Suddenly, Jordan didn't matter. Suddenly, the load of dying patients, the load of emotions from the interns, the load of stress resting in his shoulders and chest didn't matter. The only thing, the only feeling that mattered, was the soft sensation of his protégé's lips on his. The feeling was soft, feathery, almost non-existent. It wasn't enough for him.**

**Perry pulled JD against him and slammed himself against the car. A small, quiet whimper came from somewhere in JD's chest and it was the most glorious sound Perry had ever heard. Is this what he had needed all this time? Was it really that simple?**

**Before the kiss deepened, JD pulled away, immediately leaving Cox feeling desperately empty. JD grinned broadly. "So, um, would you like to join me for dinner?" Perry felt a deepened sense of relief. **

"**Absolutely." JD took the older man's hand and laid a gentle kiss on his cheek. Perry pushed him back slightly and JD looked concerned. "I am not riding that damn scooter though."**

**JD laughed and they embraced lovingly. They got into the car and pulled away, leaving an eerie sense of joy behind. Carla smiled as well, watching the scene from above on the roof. **

**All in a day's work.**


	2. Take Me for Granted

**AN: Um, well, I hadn't planned on continuing this story, but after a couple requests, I decided to see where the muse took me. It's a little darker than the first chapter, but for good reason. I have ideas for more chapters. Please keep reviewing.**

JD awoke slowly. The room was dark and eerie, as it always was at this time of night. The only light that filtered into the room was that that seeped through the slits in the blinds, casting a blue haze throughout the room, over the worn carpet, over the sheets, and over the man laying next to him. Percival's gentle curves were highlighted in the moonlight. His chest moved evenly, up and down, up and down. The movement calmed JD, as did the musky scent of his mentor's cologne. He moved closer to the older man and rested his chin on his chiseled chest.

Perry stirred slightly and his tired eyelids opened to half-mast. He gazed down at the rumpled, younger man through smoky lashes. He quirked a small smile. "Hey there, Jerrica." He wrapped a strong arm around JD's naked back. JD chuckled lowly.

"Hey, Coxy."

Percival sat up slightly and cleared his throat, gazing around the small room. JD felt a small spark of nervousness, thinking that his lover might not enjoy the amazing-ness of his bachelor pad. He kept an intense eye on Perry's gaze, following his eyes wherever they went. It shocked him how silver his mentor's eyes seemed in the pale moonlight. "I like this place," Cox murmured, being in an unusual complimentary mood. JD felt as though he'd burst with pride. He moved in for a kiss, but Cox backed away. The older man quickly got out of bed, and began searching for his clothes. JD simply watched, a painstaking look crossing his delicate features. Perry quickly collected his slacks and well-fitting T-shirt, without so much as a glance at his forlorn lover.

"I have to get back home," he finally said. "I need to see--"

"Jack," JD quickly said, cutting him off. He knew that was what was going to be said. Perry would never admit wanting to see Jordan. Ever. The only reason he returned to flat, night after night, was because of his son. A son he was unaware that was his.

"Yeah," Perry said softly. He smiled at JD, a small, quick gesture with the corner of his mouth. Almost unseen. But JD saw it. Was there a hint of sadness in that expression? Were his eyes playing tricks on him? "Goodbye, John Dorian."

With that, Dr. Perry Cox was gone. His scent lingered in the doorway as he exited, leaving JD with an immediate sense of loss. As though a part of him had died when that older man--that horrible, disrespectful, distanced man--left him there, alone in that bed. JD fought the tears that stung his eyes, not willing to cry. He knew the man would be back. That they'd tasted each other, and neither would be able to stay away. They'd memorized every inch of each other's body, and they would not be able to ignore the tugging in their loins. And maybe, eventually, the tug in their hearts.

Without his consent, a single tear did crawl down his cheek, and he momentarily hated himself. No use crying over spilled milk, he thought. Or a lover.

He'll be back.

He will.


	3. A Time and A Place

AN: oh my goodness, thanks for all the reviews! i never expected this story to be in any kind of demand. Push me, people! Keep getting on my case to write more!

**Elliot wandered into Sacred Heart in a flippant mood. She was feeling rather argumentative, and planned on taking it out on anyone she liked. Well, maybe expect for Janitor. He could squish her, and that would ruin her mood, much less her day. **

Her hair was amazing, laying perfectly. Her makeup compared to no other. Her clothes fit just right, and her body was slamming. Why was she in a snarky mood? Hell, she didn't even know. But, she was going with it. It was one of those days. She zipped briskly into the locker room and quickly changed into her scrubs, keeping careful mind not to ruin her appearance. She wasn't a vain person. Really, she wasn't. But every girl feels this way some days, right?

"Elliot." She spun at hearing her name to see Carla leaning in the doorway. Her best friend had a disturbingly worried look on her face that killed Elliot's buzz. She hated when Carla was worried. It meant that there was something truly was wrong. Carla didn't spend much time concerning herself with the small stuff.

"What's up?" the blonde doctor asked. Carla let off a small sigh.

"Have you seen JD today?" Elliot shook her head slowly. She thought about it for a moment. JD was normally at the hospital before her, and it struck her odd that she _hadn't _seen him. He usually greeted her with a burst of excitement at the front door. She began to worry herself.

"I'll call him," Elliot reassured her friend and continued getting changed. Carla gave her a short nod and left the room. Once Elliot was left alone, she sat on the bench, and pulled out her cell. No missed calls. No voicemails. No texts. Another unusual thing from JD. Every morning, she got something, even if it was just a simple 'Hey'. She dialed and let the phone ring. Once. Twice. Three times. Each ring seemed longer to her, more dreadful, more worrying. Until, when she'd almost given up, a 'click' came across and then was his voice.

"Hello?" He sounded gruff, almost like he'd been drinking whiskey. Elliot knew better. Too much of a manly drink for her friend.

"JD, where are you?"

There was the sound of rustling over the line and she heard a heavy breath escape him. "What time is it?" he croaked.

"It's almost noon," Elliot said calmly.

"Shit!" She heard him drop the phone and run around the room she knew so well.

"JD? JD? Hello?!" She hung up, knowing he was frantically attempting to make up for lost time.

****

JD almost ran into the sliding glass door as he stumbled up the steps. He stopped just in time to keep from connecting with the plexi glass. He straightened his posture and strode through the door. He tried to avoid it, but he couldn't stop himself from glancing around for Dr. Cox. Though JD knew beforehand, the older man was nowhere in sight. His spirits dropped some until he was blindsided by Carla.

"Where the hell have you been?" she all-but cried. "Don't you ever, _ever_ scare me like…" she trailed off, understanding the look that Bambie was giving her. Soft. Playful. And somewhat disappointed. "Ohhh…" She smiled at him, knowing exactly why he was late.

"Late night, Vanilla Bear?" came Turk's voice along with a healthy slap on the shoulder. JD glanced at Carla and they shared a smile.

"Come on, baby," Carla cooed, pulling her man away from JD and toward the break room. JD watched them go and felt a fleeting sense of relief, until he saw someone walk around the corner.

Perry looked even more rugged than usual. The dark charcoal color of his shirt highlighted his ice-silver eyes. He was without his white lab coat, and wearing simple, faded jeans. Had Bob Kelso seen him? _No, _JD thought. _There would've been the sound of much yelling._

Perry barked something at a random intern before he started scanning the room. JD perked at the thought of Cox looking for him. But, the high was ruined as Perry's gaze fell on the younger man, and then quickly moved away. JD wondered if he'd not been seen. He approached the older man.

"Hey, Per."

Cox faced him slowly. "What the hell happened to you, Newbie?"

Something stung in JD's chest. He hadn't been called 'newbie' in years. Why now?

"I…I…I overslept," the doe-eyed man all-but whimpered. Cox shook his head.

"Can't do that here. You're gonna get someone killed." With that, Perry moved away. JD watched him go, but unlike the night before, he didn't feel sadness. He felt anger. But he quelled the emotion, and moved to pick up the nearest chart.

Now was not the time.

Or the place.


	4. I Am What I Am

**AN: thanks again for all the reviews! Hopefully, this chapter will be way more intense. **

It had been a long day for JD. Perry had been nowhere in sight, and JD felt no closure whatsoever. Not that he was looking for it, really. Closure was, indeed, the last thing he wanted. His shift was over and he wanted to get the hell out of that hospital. That place had been more than he could handle today.

He moved down the hall and out the door, squinting into the setting sun. At this time of day, the glare of the gassy ball was blinding. But, he moved on, walking briskly toward Sasha, his loveable scooter. He searched in his pockets for the keys, feeling more and more weary as each moment passed. Why was he this tired? He hadn't had too many patients today, and most of them just needed antibiotics for a cold.

The young doctor glanced up to find the source of his weariness. Dr. Cox sat atop Sasha, looking statuesque as ever, the sun haloing his figure, silhouetting his body, making him look like some sort of arch-angel. JD shook his head at such an unconventional comparison. God must hate him for that one.

"What do you want?" JD growled, in no mood to get in any sort of argument with his mentor. He was emotionally drained. He felt anger dwelling somewhere deep in his veins, coursing through his body, so deep that he couldn't muster the urge to bring it forth. He let out a semi-mournful sigh.

Without warning, Perry hopped off the scooter and planted a firm kiss on JD's open mouth. JD was surprised, confused, and was suddenly melting with the other man, leaning into his arms without a single question. Cox pulled JD into him with a forceful grunt and pushed his lips even harder against the other man's mouth. He seemed hungry, desperate even, for this kiss. He didn't understand himself. He'd told himself all day that this wasn't what he needed. That, in fact, this was the exact opposite. There was no way this was going to end well. There was no way he could have any sort of relationship with this man. He had a son to think about, and whether he liked it or not, he had a wife to deal with.

And yet, even with all this running through the mind beneath the curly, ginger hair, he deepened the kiss. Harder, faster, wanting to feel the body of the man in front of him, wanting the sweat, the heat. And he was overtaken, that quickly. He pushed JD off him and dragged him into the car, slamming it into gear, and squealing out of the parking lot.

*****

JD swung his legs out of bed and held his face with his hands. His head hurt, and he didn't understand why. He moved into the bathroom and flipped the light on. Looking into the mirror, he suppressed a gasp. There were bruises covering his shoulders and chest. He turned around and looked at his back in the mirror. Scratches, marrs, broken skin. And were those…hickies covering his neck? "Hey, Newbie."

The voice made JD jump slightly and he turned around. Cox sat in the edge of the bed, in his boxers, rubbing his arm, looking ashamed. "What…what the hell happened to me?"

"Um…brandy and Jack Daniels…" Perry said, lowly.

"What?" JD said, coming out of the bathroom, approaching the older man. "What happened?"

"You got a little drunk…"

Then it hit him. Cox had liquored him up. Had sex with him. Used him. Again.

"You're sick," JD exploded, throwing his arms up. "Dammit, Perry. It's not like you need get me drunk! Seriously, like I'm not willing to lay down for you? How many years has it been? How many years have I looked up to you? Worked for you? Listened to your every fucking word?! How many years have I loved you?!"

There was a resonating silence that fell between them. JD had said it. Admitted something he never thought he would. Despite his fury, he wondered what Perry's reaction would be to these words. He was frightened. He was having trouble trusting the man he'd looked up to for all this time. Would he hit him? No. He did something so much worse, that hurt JD even more.

"I don't love you. I have a wife and son. My life's difficult enough as it is. This is something I wanted. You're just…just convenient." He stood and strode to the door, but turned back. "I didn't get you drunk, jackass. You're the one that offered me the liquor. Leave me the hell alone."

Perry walked out and slammed the door. JD dropped to the bed, and folded into himself. Convenient? Really? Was that all he amounted to? All those years of the teasing, and the harassment? It wasn't in fun? It was because he'd been an easy target? How could he? How could Carla push him into this?

How could any of this happen?

**AN: I know this chapter was really dark, but I have so much planned for this story. Please stick with me. Cox isn't gonna be horrible for much longer, I swear. I love him too much for that. Thanks for everything.**


	5. You Can't Fix Me

**AN: le sigh. Sorry for the late update. It was a homework day for me. Even though it's late, I shall update. :]**

Turk watched JD slink through the door of the apartment they shared. His best friend looked like a kicked puppy, searching for a porch to hide under. He knew what was going on. Carla had held him down and explained it to him. After a long couple minutes of denying that his Vanilla Bear was gay (not that he was homophobic at all, he just thought he knew JD better than that), he realized it made sense. JD had swooned over Percival Cox since they set foot in the hospital as lousy interns. If Perry said 'jump', JD fought viciously to be first in line to say 'how high?' If Perry wanted John Michael Dorian to lay his lab coat over a mud puddle so the curly-haired asshole could step on it, JD would be more than pleased to do so. It saddened Turk a little to see his college friend be so dominated with so little effort. Especially by someone as emotionless and narcissistic as the soon-to-be Chief of Medicine. But then again, he wasn't surprised. It happened in every one of JD's relationships: Elliot, Danny, Hot Coma Wife. Whether it was blatantly obvious, or just enough for his close friends to see, JD was always the underdog.

"What's up?" Turk murmured softly, turning to see his friend flinch at being noticed. Turk almost flinched as well. He could see the outline of bruises protruding from the hem of JD's shirt sleeve. His friend was slightly hunched over, seeming to double in pain. "What the hell…?" Turk got up slowly and moved toward JD, but the younger man took a step back and looked at the floor.

"Don't…" he said softly, holding his hand in a gesture to stay back. "Just don't." Turk's shoulders fell a bit as he stared at his best friend. JD's eyes were rimmed red, and it seemed like tears could fall any second.

"Um…Carla?!" Turk raised his voice slightly. JD dropped his gaze to the floor as Carla opened the door of her bedroom and came out, groggy in her pajamas. She rubbed her eyes and looked around blearily for a moment.

"What time is it?" she grumbled. When no one answered her, she rubbed her eyes again and focused on the two men before her. "What?" JD still didn't look up, and Turk gestured to him with a small flick of his gaze. Carla followed his line of vision and clapped her hand over her mouth at seeing JD. Even more bruises cuffed his wrists. He cleared his throat and chanced a look at Nurse Espinoza. She was on the move immediately, trotting to him and throwing her delicate arms around his even-more-delicate frame. JD stiffened slightly, expecting her to let go. But Carla was about to do no such thing. "What happened?" she whispered against his collarbone. She was surprised to find herself crying. She'd never seen JD in such emotional pain, much less the physical pain he _had_ to be in.

Turk guided them both to the couch, where JD dropped out of exhaustion. Carla looked at him, tears sliding down her cheeks. She wiped them away hurriedly, wanting to be supportive. "Dude," Turk started, and paused for a moment. "What did he do to you?"

Carla shot him a glare for being blunt, but in a rare moment, he returned the look, letting her know he wasn't going to scolded for this. Her expression softened. "I…we…got drunk. I don't know what happened after that," JD admitted. Carla brushed her fingers along his arm and he forced a small smile. "It looks worse than it feels."

"What did he say?" Carla asked lowly, half wanting him not to hear her. She knew how Perry could be, and she wasn't sure she wanted to know what horrible things he'd said.

"He…he said he didn't love me. That I was…that I was just convenient." JD rushed to finish, almost hoping they couldn't understand him. Carla and Turk shared a look behind JD's back. They didn't speak, but they understood each other clearly. They wanted Cox's blood in a silver goblet. How dare he? JD was the most respectable, loving, caring person in that hellhole, and Percy fucked him over! "Don't worry about it," JD said, sensing their emotions. "Um…I'm gonna go crash. Night, guys."

He got up and headed into his bedroom, closing the door gently. The couple looked at each other, half-dumbfounded, half-irate, and completely confused.

He was broken and they didn't know how to fix it.

**AN: well, I liked this chapter. Um, I think the next chappy is gonna be more centered on Cox. JD has had the spotlight for awhile now. :] Please, R&R. Thanks guys.**


	6. No One Knows

**AN: Okie dokie, at long last, here is the chapter all about the wonderful Dr. Percival Cox. Yay!!! By the way, I don't own the song, I just thought it would fit nicely. And I should probably mention that I don't own Scrubs either, since I haven't mentioned it before. Okay, now read on!**

Perry sat on the couch, his legs drawn under him. Jordan was at work and Jack was at daycare. The weary man was alone in the flat, with nothing but the walls, his liquor, and his guitar to keep him company. No one knew he played. Not even Jordan. She just thought that he kept the worn acoustic for funsies. But the truth was, those tired fingers of his knew exactly how to work the instrument. It had been a long while since he'd played. Almost a full year had gone by, and his prize had been forgotten, in the closet collecting dust. He felt guilty. He and his guitar used to be friends, and he'd abandoned her to the dark for such a long time now. But he felt in his bones that this was the only thing that would comfort him. That, and his loveable scotch.

He ran his palm along the length of her neck, feeling the smooth, polished wood. He was comforted. Up to the pegs, and he twisted them, one by one, tuning her. He was comforted. He tapped her body with his knuckles, hearing the sound resonating within the hollow wood. He was comforted. The only thing left to do was play. But for some reason, some reason unknown to him in his heart and mind, he was afraid. Afraid that he'd forgotten. He'd never used any books, and never taken any classes. He'd taught himself with hours and hours, memorizing the notes every string made with the placement of his fingers. And his fingers, his over-worked fingers, had bled. Over and over again, they would heal and crack, seeping blood. He wore bandages for a moment, but found that they hindered his playing, and he never wore them again. Eventually, the pads of his appendages toughened to the strong cords, and he learned how to play briskly, picking at the instrument like it was his life-line, savoring every note and being internally proud of his accomplishment. He never looked up any songs to play. He'd hear something and play it by ear until he got it right. This ability had become easier to him over the years, and now he could play just about anything.

Perry sighed and took a sip from his glass, hissing slightly as the bitter liquid hit the back of his throat. Liquid courage is what it was. A few more swigs and he would no longer be afraid.

He played the first chords, and realized he had become a bit rusty, but to no one's ears but his own. He tried again, and this time, they notes fell perfectly. He strummed for a moment before he slowly began to sing…and think.

_No one knows what it's like_

_To be the bad man._

_To be the sad man_

_Behind blue eyes._

_No one knows what it's like_

_To be hated._

_To be fated_

_To telling only lies._

Had that really been what his life consisted of these past few years? Hate, and lies? He almost couldn't believe it, but it hit too close to home for it not to be true. He hated his life, hated the people in it, hated himself. So very deep ran this hatred, and yet, when asked if he was really okay, 'yes' would always be the answer. The same lie had lived with him for so long now, he hadn't even noticed its existence.

_But my dreams_

_They aren't as empty._

_As my conscience seems to be._

_I have hours_

_Only lonely._

_My love is vengeance_

_That's never free._

How long had it been since he had dreamt? Months, maybe? He never remembered. His dreams were empty, and yet, the lyrics spoke the truth. His dreams were nowhere near as empty as his slimy conscience. He regretted nothing, no matter how much he hurt people, no matter how much he smiled at their expense. No matter how hurtful the words he spat. He never, ever felt bad. It wasn't his forte and he didn't plan on it now. But, he wondered, if I don't change, will I always be this lonely? Will I always hate myself for pushing them away? Will I never be free of myself?

_No one knows what it's like_

_To have this feelings_

_Like I do._

_And I blame you._

_No one bites back as hard_

_On their anger._

_None of my pain and woe_

_Can show through._

_But my dreams_

_They aren't as empty._

_As my conscience seems to be._

_I have hours_

_Only lonely._

_My love is vengeance_

_That's never free._

As he strummed, his thoughts deepened until he almost didn't hear the music he was playing. He was so hurt, so angry all the time. Whether it was a good day or not. Every second was a struggle for him to bite his tongue, to hold his thoughts, to not explode in some sort of rage. Every day, he began telling himself 'today will be better'. He promised himself he wouldn't hurt people, he wouldn't break them down, one by one. But, everyday, he failed. Not just failed, but failed miserably. And he had no one to blame. No one to finger. Just himself. But, he always refused to believe it was just him. How could it be?

_When my fist clenches_

_Crack it open._

_Before I use it and lose my cool._

_When I smile_

_Tell me some bad news,_

_Before I laugh and act like a fool._

_If I swallow anything evil,_

_But your finger down my throat._

_If I shiver, please give me a blanket._

_Keep me warm, let me wear your coat._

He slowed his playing and gazed down at his scotch glass. How could he be so stupid? How could he live this miserable life, day after day, and tell himself that he was really okay? How could he have avoided the one person that ever gave an honest damn about him for so long, and then hurt that person so much when they got the chance to prove their love? How could he be so selfish with his emotions? Was he really that horrible? The thought sickened him. This younger man that had pledged his love in a fiery rage had done all he could to prove his undying compassion to his heart-hardened mentor, whether it meant willing to get hurt himself, or whether it meant willing to sit in hours and hours of silence with the older man while he drank himself away. Perry felt like such a fool, but not for laughing. His laughter had been fake for as long as he could remember. He felt the fool for being so wrapped up in his pitiful life and never noticing that there were decent human beings out there in the big, wide world.

And John Dorain was one of the very best.

_No one knows what it's like_

_To be the bad man._

_To be the sad man_

_Behind blue eyes…_

**AN: M'kay, I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter as much as I did writing it. As some of you can tell, this is **_**The Who**_** version of the song, which I like much better than Limp Bizkit version. Again, I own nothing, but really, really wish I did. R&R, people! :]**


	7. Always that Bad

**AN: Well, I'm glad you guys liked the last chapter! I would appreciate some ideas to get me going on these next couple chappys. I don't really know where to take this thing. But, I'll try. :]**

Perry jumped up at the sound of a door slamming. He sat upright and gazed around. Was he being robbed? He'd never really prepared himself for this. He'd never thought about this kind of situation. He stood quickly and prepared himself for some sort of fight. He had a baseball bat under his bed, and he bent to reach for it, only to hear his name being called in a very angry female tone of voice.

He winced, recognizing the voice. It was Carla. And she was _really_ mad. "In here," he grumbled, knowing that he had to take what he had coming to him like the horrible example of a man he was. He heard the stomping of angry feet and the door to his bedroom opened. There stood Mr. and Mrs. Turk, both sets of arms crossed, both faces wearing equally irate expressions. He grimaced and sat back on the bed.

"Can we do this later, Ghandi? I don't have the mind space to absorb all your Ebonics. Rain check?" He inwardly snarled at himself. Turk took a step forward but Carla placed a firm arm across his chest. He stopped but never took his eyes off the man sitting on the bed.

'Look, you bastard. How could you be such an ass? I know your daddy never loved you, and that Jordan isn't emotionally supportive, and that your life basically _sucks_, but you can't take it out on innocent bystanders, especially on someone like JD! Dammit, Perry, I have put up with your selfish antics for years now. Years. And you never once took anything I've said to heart, much less ever thanked me for it. But I'm not the one that's helped you to move on with your life. That person is John Michael Dorian, and he has been there for you through every turn. Every up, every down. He's been there, and he's loved you every step of the way. And then you think you can just---"

"What?" Perry snarled, standing up. "What? Be an asshole like I always am? Be as narcissistic, if not more, than ever? Get over it, Carla. It's who I am."

Turk took another step forward, menacingly aggressive. This time, Perry didn't hesitate to advance as well, meeting him in the middle of the room. Carla felt a twinge of desperation. She knew it'd be impossible to break the two of them apart once they got ahold of each other, but she refused to let it happen this way. "Stop it," she said sternly.

"I've been putting up with your shit for a long time, Cox. But you will not talk to my wife that way. And you're gonna stay the hell away from JD," Turk growled, trying to calm himself. "Very far away."

Cox raised an eyebrow. "You think that's what he wants? You think he wants me to stay away just because of some rough sex?"


	8. Baby Steps

**A/N: Hey guys, the last chapter was really short, yes I know. Do forgive me. This one will be longer. I don't own scrubs, or the wonderful Perry Cox, but I wish I did.**

Perry sighed, wondering how the hell he was supposed to knock on the door and expect everything to be okay. How was JD even supposed to look at him. With another sigh, he pounded without any expectations at all.

He could hear movement within, and he knew it was neither Carla nor Turk. They'd left for work after roughing him up. He knew it was going to be JD that answered the door. And when he did answer, he didn't look surprised at all. He simply stared at the older man, a nonchalant, expectant look on his face. When Perry failed to speak, JD didn't. "What do you want?" The words were not gentle, nor were they welcoming or friendly. They were demanding. Cox winced slightly from the sting.

"I just wanted to talk to you," he said cautiously. JD crossed his arms, and narrowed his gaze.

"About what, Percival? This isn't really a **convenient **time for me. I'm busy." Cox winced again, but refused to back down.

"I--"

"You're pretty messed up, aren't you?" JD interjected, not really wanting to listen to anything Perry had to say. "You always have been. But I've always been there beside you thinking 'It's not his fault. He's just stressed. It'll get better'. But I was wrong. You're not going to get better. Ever. You're content to sit on your couch and drink yourself to death, while you pretend to not give a damn about anyone else."

Perry was caught for a moment. He never thought that this man would work up the gall to speak to him this way. Not that he didn't deserve it, because he did, but he was still amazed. JD's words burned him, almost like his own words had burned so many other people. "JD…I'm…I'm sorry. For everything. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. You were supposed to love me no matter what, and I was never supposed to love you. That's how it was supposed to go. But, it didn't work. I fell for you, wanted you, and it wasn't fair. You swooped me up out of nowhere, and made me lose track of everything all at once."

JD shook his head, keeping his hard gaze on Perry. "So, this is my fault? It's always my fault, isn't it?" He turned and began to shut the door, but Cox stopped him.

"I didn't say that. Didn't you hear the part where I fell for you?"

Again, JD shook his head, but sadly this time. "I heard you, Per. I heard you loud and clear. You don't mean it, but thanks for saying it just the same."

Cox was completely dumbfounded. Isn't this what JD had been waiting for all these years? "JD, I don't think you understand."

"No, I don't think you understand, Coxy." JD stepped into the hall, putting his hands on Perry's shoulders. "I know what I want. I've always known. Deep down, I've always known it was you. But, you don't know. You never have known. All these years, you've wanted so many things, and you've gotten them, only to be bored after awhile. You don't want me, Perry. Not really. Right now, it's what you want because it will make you feel better. But in the long run, it's not really me that you're looking for. So, I will keep on loving you, no matter what. And you? You'll keep on not loving me and ruining lives, including your own, and I'll still be here to say you'll get better. And that's how it's gonna be. Take baby steps, Per. Small baby steps, and maybe one day you won't need me to believe you're gonna be okay. Maybe someday, you really will be."

Perry was stunned. How could JD be so very, painfully insightful and honest? And how could Cox not have known this about himself? "JD…"

The younger man lent forward and placed a gentle kiss on Perry's lips and backed away, into the apartment, and shut the door. Perry did nothing for a moment. He couldn't concentrate, couldn't move. He thought. He was always this way. Always to too drunk, to concentrate or move. But not this time. He was genuinely stuck, by the power of JD's words. He was hurting, in all the most horrible ways. But then, by some force not his own, he turned and took a step. A small step away from this crutch. A small step towards some sort of better life. Baby steps. Baby steps and he would really be okay. Someday.

~Fin~

**A/N: Well, guys, that's it. That's all I got. Sorry there can't be some sort of happy ending, but this is how it goes. I hope you enjoyed.**


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